I thought I would be in pieces on my freezing wood floor, unable to take one more step towards my future without you. But somehow technicolor energy passed through my heart and I felt like myself for the first time in a year. Happy, vibrant, funny. The endings suddenly looked like possibilities. The hate looked like love. The impossible looked possible. In a moment full of tearful goodbyes and bloody abandonment, the person you tried so hard to kill reemerged more powerful than ever. I understand now why they said I needed to leave you, why we were not a good fit, how goodbyes can also be hellos.